How 2025 Is Going So Far
I originally started this post on Fanta Productions as an update back at the beginning of March and never got around to finishing and publishing it. So this is a good first post for my personal blog.
2025 has gotten off to rough start. I am not going to drone on about all the details, so I figured I’d do a short recap.
January
- I started physical therapy for my shoulder because it was not getting better. It’s been an ongoing issue for over a year now.
- I physically did not feel good for about 2 weeks out of January. I don’t know if it was allergies, a common cold, or something else.
- I think I might have suffered from some seasonal depression during January. This is normally not something that bothers me, but I thought we were going to have a milder winter. January just sucked weather-wise here in Alabama. It was probably the coldest winter here so far, and all I wanted to do was stay under my electric heated throw blanket.
- Combined with everything else going on (some personal matters that are just overwhelming), the one word I can use to sum up January is “blah.” January was one of the most unproductive months I’ve had in a LONG time. The idea of having to get up and cook dinner was exhausting.
- I had so much that needed to be done, things I had gotten really behind with, and I didn’t have an ounce of energy in me to start on them.
February
- Vivian was here for 2 weeks to work with Shish, but they weren’t able to get much done because he got really sick with something. Vivian went home early, and I had to reschedule a Fanta shoot so Lucy wouldn’t end up getting whatever Shish had.
- Lucy and I ended up rescheduling multiple times for various reasons that were out of our control, so that was really frustrating, especially since there were customs to get done.
- During February, we had to give extra care to Bailey, our 15-year-old cat that was diagnosed with lymphoma back in August 2024. He was put back on a feeding tube, so Shish and I had to make sure he was fed a little at least once every 2 hours. (This is the cat that put me in the hospital last year, so I was scared to death he’d randomly flip out one day and bite me again.) Special needs cats are very time-involved, and there is no way Shish and I could have given him the proper care if we didn’t work from home.
- Bailey lost his fight to cancer on February 21st.
- Our other 5 cats seem to have a goal this year to make it my least productive. EVERY time I start work on my computer (Fanta video updates, emails, custom videos I could do on my own), they are doing something to pull my attention away from the work I need to do. Running through the house like a herd of elephants. Fighting with each other. Randomly meowing in the middle of a video. Walking into the video. Wanting to go outside; wanting to come inside (currently dealing with this issue as I type this because he can’t make up his damn mind and it’s impossible to focus with him howling like he’s dying in the living room or outside my bedroom window). Messing with things in my room they shouldn’t be. It’s like they have a 6th sense about when I am trying to get stuff done. I cannot tell you how frustrating this is. I love my cats, but sometimes they really test my patience. I am on my 4th cup of coffee this morning and have literally done almost nothing in the hour and a half I’ve been awake because of cat stuff.
- Sleep deprived most of this month because of the cats also. They also won’t let me go to sleep at a decent time and tend wake me up around 3:30 – 4:00 in the morning and won’t let me go back to sleep. (Whoever said sleep is overrated is obviously getting enough sleep!)
- Mid-February I went to an orthopedic doctor to make sure what I thought was carpal tunnel for several years was in fact carpal tunnel and not something going on in my neck.
- MRI and nerve test was done at the end of February, and it’s definitely carpal tunnel (mild to moderate in my left – dominate – hand). And thankfully it’s originating from my wrist/arm and NOT because of an issue in my neck. They gave me steroid shots in both wrists, and that seems to be helping tremendously! I still have issues with some tingling, but it’s nowhere near the level it was beforehand. I still have some tingling issues at the base of my neck though.
March
- With all the not feeling well, crazy things, and time consuming stuff that was going on in January and February, I got really behind and missed a lot of allergy shots and could definitely tell a difference. (Round trip with 30 minutes of waiting after the shot is about 2 1/2 hours, and I just couldn’t do it Jan/Feb.) Here at the end of March, I am ALMOST back to what they call ‘maintenance’ where I can come every other week and not every week (I missed this week though.). Eventually, if I can stop missing so many shots, I will only have to go once a month. Eventually.
- I finished physical therapy for my shoulder around mid-March with the intention of doing some of the exercises at home – but have yet to do any. Physical therapy was a HUGE help, so I need to stay on top of the exercises that will keep it from being so painful again.
- With warmer weather this month, I’ve tried to get outside to do things to prevent some (if not all) of the weeds from getting so out of control this summer. They are just awful here! Our previous house was much more manageable when it came to weeds because there were fewer areas where you had to manually do something about them.
- I’ve also tried to juggle my gardening hobby (and regular outdoor chores) with catching up with Patreon stuff, getting custom videos done, posting updates to Fanta’s website, plus running all the errands, spending quality time with the ones I love, trying to cook dinner more often, and all the things.
- These past few days, Shish and I have been out in our workshop purging, organizing, and cleaning things up before Vivian arrives (tonight) for a 2-week shoot with him. So some of the other things I had hoped to get done this week will hopefully get done next week.
Chaotic. Unpredictable. Unproductive. Tiring. Pointless. Overwhelming. Unfocused. Disorganized. Sad. Sick. Irritating. Blah. Lethargic. Frustrating. Stressful. Emotional. Exhausting.
Those words pretty much sum of the first 3 months of this year.
There are other things that have been on my mind and stressing me out as well.
- My health. I am officially the heaviest I’ve ever been, and while there is a good market for BBW, I do not want to be in that category. I feel unhealthy. Everything aches all the time. Clothes fit terrible right now. I eat all the terrible stuff because I’m a stress eater. Getting dinner out somewhere is also more convenient and quicker (but expensive). I am really hoping to focus on my health for April and start walking and making some effort to not eat all the things. 😞
- Pandora – my sweet little girl (cat). She seems to not feel well and occasionally will cough a little here and there. I just finished a round of steroids for her, and she was doing fantastic. No coughing, eating really well. Now that the steroid is done, she’s back to acting like she doesn’t feel well, and she’s not eating as good. She doesn’t play like she did when she was younger (she’s not even 2 years old yet), and it’s not from a lack of trying; it’s hard to engage her with toys right now. She’s very pissy with our other 2 females. She gets bitchy when I pick her up. She’s not as affectionate as she used to be. I know she’s ‘just a cat’ to a lot of people, but this girl is my heart. I rescued her almost 2 years ago, and I am so attached to her, the idea of anything bad happening to her causes anxiety. And it breaks my heart to think something is making her feel bad, something the vets haven’t been able to figure out yet. So I worry about her – a lot.
- Our vet situation is stressful. We are about to have to change vet clinics, and I HATE it. The clinic we use had 4 vets when we started going there years ago. Our favorite (and the best vet EVER!!!) retired at the end of last year due to health reasons. Our 2nd choice is going to be there one day a week now, starting this coming week. The other 2… not worth the more expensive price tag. And with Pandora’s ongoing mystery, I stress over which vet to trust with our furbabies’ special needs. Because it seems we got all the ‘special’ ones.
And here I said I’d do a “short recap” at the beginning of this post. In my defense, this post covers 3 months worth of stuff. I do hope April is a much better month. I have been trying to make some changes so I can better distribute my time and get things done. I tried making out daily plans for the past 2 weeks, but well…. 😂 I don’t think anything on the list got done because of the other stuff that came up. But seriously, I need April to be a better month because I am so tired of things being so difficult to do these days. I am so tired of being tired ALL. THE. TIME. With not much to show for it at the end of the day. I can’t be the only one.